I toured my first house today. The first house I have ever considered purchasing. On my own. Just me, alone. The thought of this huge step in my life is one that both terrifies and intrigues me; I am ready to move forward, to take on a new piece of life, but I am also hesitant as the fears of debt, moving out, and being on my own circle through my vision.
Nonetheless, I swatted the fears away and positioned myself to ponder the thought of becoming a homeowner. All in all, the property appeared very agreeable. The lot was adorable, the barn was magnificent, and the location was unbeatable. And even though the house had a Walking-Dead-feel to it, there was a prospect of renovation when looking from the outside.
Unfortunately, yet thankfully, the home was decidedly more uninhabitable than first perceived. It was not until I ventured through the front door that I knew the prospect on living there was futile. The floor literally sank as I stepped into the kitchen. An inch of dead flies hung by webs in the windows, the house reeked of mildew coming from the flooded basement, and the upstairs bedrooms sloped in a Funhouse sort of fashion. The outside held promise, but the inside held despair; some things are just not meant to be fixed.
It has become a common belief in society that no matter how smart, kind, and caring as you or I may be, we can’t fix everything or everyone. Broken trust, broken hearts, life-altering decisions, split second tragedies, all are unfortunate circumstances in life that happen on a day-to-day basis. Some can happen in an instant while others build slowly over years of hard effort. But one thing is certain: sometimes the best we give is just not enough.
And so we are taught to think, “There are things that simply cannot be fixed.” Consider a broken mirror. No matter how much effort is put into gluing the pieces back together, the mirror will continue to be distorted. It is the same with life. When someone is hurt or loses trust, there will always be an edge of doubt in their mind. When a couple breaks up, they usually go their separate ways. When someone dies they remain dead. History cannot be changed. However, a person’s future outlook, behaviors, and environment can change.
But what do we do when we believe we’ve found a lost cause?
To some, giving up may seem the likely option. Why try when everything seems to be pushing against you? There is almost a sense of relief when you accept what you believe is inevitable. Just feel the pain that is meant to be experienced. Don’t fix it. Don’t avoid it. Just suffer until the pain is over. Leave the broken pieces behind and move on.
I do not believe in a lost cause, though. I believe everything and everyone has the power to become better, no matter how broken it or they appear to be. I believe everything has the potential of changing. Whether you must bend, twist, or start from scratch; anything that is broken has the potential of being better.
And how do you push for this better when all else seems lost?
Do the best you can! Accept that some things are not meant to be completely and wholly fixed, and do what you can to piece the problem back together. The result might be completely altered from the original form, but that doesn’t mean its worthless.
Offer love and friendship to a friend or family member who is hurting. Show them that there is positivity in every situation, even if they can only see the darkness right now. Be understanding of the pain they are experiencing, and stay persistent as that hurt will probably hang around for a bit.
There is no need to be perfect. Even the broken mirror can still be used to see yourself smile. Even the falling down farmhouse can be leveled and built into a beautiful structure. Nothing is lost, only waiting for some creativity to piece it into something better.
Is there something you’re struggling with that seemingly can’t be fixed? Is there any relief in the idea that you cannot fix it, or do you push forward and do the best you can?