On Friday I talked about what I believe self-care truly means and how ugly real self-care can be. This might mean taking a good, long look at yourself and finding solutions — whether easy or difficult — to fix the issues prohibiting you to be your best you. Figuring out those solutions can be a chore in itself, but making habits to better yourself is hard too. Want some ideas on small steps you might be able to take? Angelo Caerlang over at Thought Catalog came up with an awesome list of thing worth doing for your self-care. Take a look!
I have gotten into the habit of reading some awesome blogs over the past few weeks. As someone who is trying to grow her blog into something more, learning what sparks interest for both readers and myself seems the best route. During my wind-down time each night, I scroll through WordPress, PuckerMob, and other mass-writing arenas to find new and exciting pieces that catch my eye.
Unfortunately, all credit for this little thinker goes to my mama. (Shout out!) She sent me a link to this article written by Gabby Elizabeth on PuckerMob knowing the topic is near and dear to my heart, especially as I busily plan my wedding. The author is writing a letter to that old best friend who simply disappeared from her life. Actually, she is writing an open letter to any best friend who has left someone’s life. We’ve all been there. We’ve all struggled with feelings of betrayal and guilt and confusion and anger and sorrow after someone we cared for has left us, sometimes with no explanation.
Any relationship is work. And the loss of a friendship will bring about differing views on both sides. As some of the commentary on this article reference, some phrases in Gabby’s open letter make her into a victim. Yes, sometimes that victim-mentally is a result of the end of a friendship. Both sides will have opinions on the “break up.” There’s always two sides to every story. Yet I think there is a lot to say that Gabby is beginning to be at peace with this new lack of a friendship. We each go through grief differently, and if she needs to go through denial before coming to contentment, then all the more power to her. I’ve been there; I’ve done that.
For me, I’m thankful for this open letter and found it calming. Perhaps you also need to know there are a lot of others out there who have triumphed through this same scenario. Here you go, friends — read this and find some solace. Personally, I want to thank Gabby for putting many of our thoughts into words.
Today is Valentine’s Day, and I must admit this year’s “holiday” feels a bit more special than it has in the past as I look forward to quality time spent with my One. I used to be one of those girls who either shrugged her shoulders at the romantic celebrations happening around her or banded together with a girlfriend or two to strong-arm the Hallmark-inspired-necessity that Galentine’s was just as important. V-Day has never been a favorite of mine, but I suppose that’s because it has been quite a few years since I’ve had a true Valentine.
Talking with G over this past weekend in anticipation of not actually spending Valentine’s together, the topic of love and choosing to love one another came up. (Side note: It is always so remarkable to me to hear this man talk about his feelings for me — even though it happens on a daily basis — and have faith he means every word he is saying.) The chat was amazing and only reiterated the key reasons as to why I’m marrying this man. Then I come across this excellent article written by Seth Adam Smith and #YASSS! This could not be more on point, my friends, and I must do my part to share Seth’s wisdom across the blogosphere.
So without further ado, here is how I plan to live my marriage…
Okay, let me begin by saying: “Did this woman just step into my life?” I mean, seriously. Elite Daily is well known for relating to the mass majority of its target audience, but this article was almost too direct when I read it. I grew up with the type of thinking the author discusses in the following article; I grew up believing I needed to retain to my strict ideals to make all those around me happy. It caused unwarranted stress and poor self-esteem. Being a perfectionist was not something admirable, it was something demanded. Or so I thought. I still fight against the mistaken theory that my role in Life is to please everyone else. I still wrestle with the thought that disappointing others is a true failure on my part and I should be punished. But guess what? I’m not alone in my thinking, and we all know I love to find support with similar conflicts in Life. It’s about time all us Good Girls started making our own rules. “Stop living in someone else’s world, and start creating your own.”
It feels as if there are a lot of people out there that have not thought about their futures nearly as carefully or hopefully or simply fully as this young man. I came across this article during a late night Facebook scrolling-spree and couldn’t pass up the poetic truth it possesses. It was a pleasure to follow his path through marriage, children, and retirement in only a few short paragraphs and also to feel the faith that I hope I can one day share with a spouse as well.
Originally posted on the Odessey:
I’m writing to you at 19. I don’t know how many 19-year-old guys can truthfully say that they’ve been thinking about their future wife for 11 years, but I sure have. Imagining is sort of my thing, and I do it all the time. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what we’ll be like, and I’ve looked for you in some pretty strange places. I don’t know if I know you yet, but I guess that doesn’t matter. I’ve learned that when looking for something, the mindset one has affects what he finds. So, take a second to look this way.
One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to try harder or walk away.
Have you ever realized there is only one choice that we make in every moment of Life? The choice to try harder or walk away. From loving ourselves, loving another person, pursuing a passion, succeeding at work, or simply being present, we choose to continue thinking, doing, eating, saying, and being what we are or else we break up with it. There is only one way to do everything, and that is completely or not at all.
When contemplating what you want in life, it’s interesting to consider that you don’t necessarily always want your life to be better, but rather different. I came upon this article once upon a time and finally see what the author meant by this perspective. One path in life does not always mean it is the best one, just different from another. And to one person this may or may not be good thing. However, one thing I’ve learned for sure: different is always good. You either succeed in the end or learn from the experience; both are wins in my book.
Originally posted on Thought Catalog:
There are few things worse than not living up to the expectations you put on yourself. I understand the strain of obligations and pressures piled on by friends and family, but frankly the only ones that end up mattering are those accepted as your ‘own problems.’
An article shared in my Reader caught my eye today, and upon closer examination I felt it worthy of being reblogged on Peonies ‘n Mint. I’ll discuss the topic later this month, but as a preliminary notice: I joined Match.com over two weeks ago and met a certain someone who has been extremely kind and sincere in our conversations to one another. Tonight marks our first face-to-face meeting and though I am actually quite giddy about the date, I am also nervous. This article gives an on-point description for my hesitation…
Originally Posted on The Good Men Project:
There has been a lot written recently about the challenges of online dating and the switch to much more of a “hook-up” culture. While it definitely exists and this topic gets most of the attention, that has not been my experience. So one of two things must be true … I’m doing it wrong … or there is still reason to be optimistic about meeting people online.
The problem with online dating isn’t that it created a hookup culture. The problem is it has made us all unicorn hunters.