I have two good friends who are going through different forms of trauma currently. Speaking with them over the past few weeks has brought a lot of tears, some laughs, and many memories of times I have wrestled with inner traumas myself. As has become common, I came across a blog post written by Brianna Wiest on Thought Catalog and her words touched several topics in conversations I’ve had with these two friends over the past month. (Sometimes I wonder if the Ever Listening Web has implanted my mind in order to bring these treasures to my world…)
The entire post rang true on so many different concepts, but I especially appreciated Brianna’s quote, “We are not meant to get through life unscathed. We are not meant to get to the finish line unscarred, clean and bored.” Though we go through Life hoping for things to be easy, can you imagine if every wish you ever wished or every dream you ever dreamed came to fruition? No challenges means no changes. No failings means no winnings. No tears means no lessons. There are difficulties in my past that I still regret, but they have also led me to become a stronger, wiser, and more conscientious woman — and isn’t that the goal for growing older? To me it is.
Continue reading “Reblog: Trauma Is Not Your Fault, But Healing Is Your Responsibility”
I think it’s a natural occurrence to look back on your life and marvel at the changes over the years. Though there may be some changes you would like to reroute to their original path, most changes have probably been for the better. It is normal to want to strive to be better and do better and become better in all areas of your life. Some may argue that is the very concept of humanity — to grow into our own perspective of better with every passing year.
With that in mind, I was perusing one of my favorite sites to pass the time and came across an article by Raina Naim who discusses how loss can change us for the better. If you’re someone who has been following my blog over the years, this is one of my key beliefs also. I am a firm believer that when you lose something it is only because something better is about to take it’s place. I know of a few friends out there who need to hear this message, and Raina says it beautifully…
Continue reading “Reblog: It Takes Losing What You Were Settling For To Remember What You Deserve”
My church began a new Bible study today and it is called Married People Connect. As I’m sure you can guess, this study is for married couples and involves small table groups of varying aged couples to offer insight, advice, and encouragement for strong and happy marriages. G and I were both excited for this new step in our marriage and look forward to growing together with fellow members of our congregation.
This new study also brings e-Zines to our emails full of inspirational blog posts, vlogs, and date-night ideas. The most recent e-Zine included the following article written by Forrest Fyre, and I thought it was not only well-written but also on-point for my own marriage. As a millennial, marriage has a different look than it has for any other generation, but it also brings the same difficulties that all marriages face. I loved the honesty this author portrays over his young marriage, and couldn’t have said the words better myself. Enjoy!
Continue reading “Reblog: Millennial & Married: What I’ve Learned Six Months In”
I have gotten into the habit of reading some awesome blogs over the past few weeks. As someone who is trying to grow her blog into something more, learning what sparks interest for both readers and myself seems the best route. During my wind-down time each night, I scroll through WordPress, PuckerMob, and other mass-writing arenas to find new and exciting pieces that catch my eye.
Unfortunately, all credit for this little thinker goes to my mama. (Shout out!) She sent me a link to this article written by Gabby Elizabeth on PuckerMob knowing the topic is near and dear to my heart, especially as I busily plan my wedding. The author is writing a letter to that old best friend who simply disappeared from her life. Actually, she is writing an open letter to any best friend who has left someone’s life. We’ve all been there. We’ve all struggled with feelings of betrayal and guilt and confusion and anger and sorrow after someone we cared for has left us, sometimes with no explanation.
Any relationship is work. And the loss of a friendship will bring about differing views on both sides. As some of the commentary on this article reference, some phrases in Gabby’s open letter make her into a victim. Yes, sometimes that victim-mentality is a result of the end of a friendship. Both sides will have opinions on the “break up.” There’s always two sides to every story. Yet I think there is a lot to say that Gabby is beginning to be at peace with this new lack of a friendship. We each go through grief differently, and if she needs to go through denial before coming to contentment, then all the more power to her. I’ve been there; I’ve done that.
For me, I’m thankful for this open letter and found it calming. Perhaps you also need to know there are a lot of others out there who have triumphed through this same scenario. Here you go, friends — read this and find some solace. Personally, I want to thank Gabby for putting many of our thoughts into words.
Continue reading “Reblog: To The Best Friend Who Cut Me Out Like I Never Existed”
Today is Valentine’s Day, and I must admit this year’s “holiday” feels a bit more special than it has in the past as I look forward to quality time spent with my One. I used to be one of those girls who either shrugged her shoulders at the romantic celebrations happening around her or banded together with a girlfriend or two to strong-arm the Hallmark-inspired-necessity that Galentine’s was just as important. V-Day has never been a favorite of mine, but I suppose that’s because it has been quite a few years since I’ve had a true Valentine.
Talking with G over this past weekend in anticipation of not actually spending Valentine’s together, the topic of love and choosing to love one another came up. (Side note: It is always so remarkable to me to hear this man talk about his feelings for me — even though it happens on a daily basis — and have faith he means every word he is saying.) The chat was amazing and only reiterated the key reasons as to why I’m marrying this man. Then I come across this excellent article written by Seth Adam Smith and #YASSS! This could not be more on point, my friends, and I must do my part to share Seth’s wisdom across the blogosphere.
So without further ado, here is how I plan to live my marriage…
Continue reading “Reblog: Real Love is a Choice”
Okay, let me begin by saying: “Did this woman just step into my life?” I mean, seriously. Elite Daily is well known for relating to the mass majority of its target audience, but this article was almost too direct when I read it. I grew up with the type of thinking the author discusses in the following article; I grew up believing I needed to retain to my strict ideals to make all those around me happy. It caused unwarranted stress and poor self-esteem. Being a perfectionist was not something admirable, it was something demanded. Or so I thought. I still fight against the mistaken theory that my role in Life is to please everyone else. I still wrestle with the thought that disappointing others is a true failure on my part and I should be punished. But guess what? I’m not alone in my thinking, and we all know I love to find support with similar conflicts in Life. It’s about time all us Good Girls started making our own rules. “Stop living in someone else’s world, and start creating your own.”
Continue reading “How Idealizing the “Good Girl” Image Teaches Women to Put Themselves Last”
It feels as if there are a lot of people out there that have not thought about their futures nearly as carefully or hopefully or simply fully as this young man. I came across this article during a late night Facebook scrolling-spree and couldn’t pass up the poetic truth it possesses. It was a pleasure to follow his path through marriage, children, and retirement in only a few short paragraphs and also to feel the faith that I hope I can one day share with a spouse as well.
Originally posted on the Odessey:
I’m writing to you at 19. I don’t know how many 19-year-old guys can truthfully say that they’ve been thinking about their future wife for 11 years, but I sure have. Imagining is sort of my thing, and I do it all the time. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what we’ll be like, and I’ve looked for you in some pretty strange places. I don’t know if I know you yet, but I guess that doesn’t matter. I’ve learned that when looking for something, the mindset one has affects what he finds. So, take a second to look this way.
Continue reading “Dear Future Spouse: Look This Way”
One of the hardest decisions you will ever face in life is choosing whether to try harder or walk away.
Have you ever realized there is only one choice that we make in every moment of Life? The choice to try harder or walk away. From loving ourselves, loving another person, pursuing a passion, succeeding at work, or simply being present, we choose to continue thinking, doing, eating, saying, and being what we are or else we break up with it. There is only one way to do everything, and that is completely or not at all.
Continue reading “The Hardest Decision”